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i cant get to sleep. my body clock is so screwed that i'm not sure if i'll be awake tomorrow morning or not.
i had great fun today. went to little india with the photog group than we headed to sentosa where me and kaman saw an extremely hot moody guy in black shorts and sunglasses. took a bunch of photos of some mats skimming and some caucasion kids. saw a dead snake too!

i was asleep but i awoke cause i realised that i was talking in my sleep. i was saying 'i'll just play at the escalators than'.
what's up with me and escalators? oh well. it was a weird dream of me being at wtc and meeting some extremely weird looking people.
off to do the essays than

cheerios

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dont ask why but i dreamt of questal and scuba diving and fishes swimming so close you can open your mouth and one of them will swim in and rum flavoured escalators and finding out your hotel room doesn't really exist.

and wanqi, HOORAY! <333

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now that all the great men in boybands are married, it's abit sad aint it?
it seems to be ages ago when i and the bestie went apes over boybands. who can forget shane and kian who seems a tad gay these days.
though they are not as big as they used to be, i still feel a twinge when i hear their songs or see their faces.
i always fantasised that the ladys who married these men had a whirlwind romance like those straight out of romance novels. where the man would do anything for the girl and they are in love like nuts. because what else can i do but dream?
wipe the silly grin off your face now, nad. ((:

but thankfully, over the ages, our musical taste has grown. now its no more westlife or bsb its hello to rock and punk and coldplay. gone are the days where we would exchange posters and blab and memorise and sing their songs together. though the singing of songs still remain, what with tp playing bob bob baby. the good old times, the good old days.

the new year is coming up in 2 days now. i have to say that 2005 has been a pretty up and down year. though i can't honestly say it was the best, the year has been great with a lot of firsts for me.
it was
the first time
-i travelled to somewhere outside of asia, perth
-had a family member die
-slept over in a hospital
-had surgery
-took o-level results
-worked
and i'm sure more that i cant just seem to think off right now. 2005 also marked the first year in poly, of leaving that comfortable cocoon of secondary school and strict routines.
i'm finally on my own now, at my own pace and thought i cant say i'm struggling, i'm hanging on. keeping my head above the water.
2005 has also been a great year for friends. lotsa laughs and photo taking. of just hanging out and spoling camera film. it was also a year where me and mom and dad had the most fights. i realised that now, with me growing up, i tend to see how far i can push their buttons. and with mom off to work, it's hello housework to me. i dont relate to her as much as when i was in sec school. it's rare when me and her can just hang out.
my birthday was a blast too this year. of walking and eating desserts and how i know wanqi will always always be there for me. my anchor remember? i love you. <3
and my great birthday gifts the trip and the dessert and the lamp. and the time spent with me and the birthday wishes that i had.from people that i havent heard for years!

and the best bit of 2005 was knowing that i am still able to keep in touch with my sec school friends. they mean alot to me. there are tons of memories with these people who i hope will be there for me every step of the way and vice verca. of long talks and long walks and tight hugs and i love yous. of just being silly and knowing that whatever happens, they will always be there. no questions asked.

it seems as though 2006 will never get here, but what do you know, just a few more hours till than. i never thought i will see this through. that i wll be 18 and than married. (:
and than of course, comes the realisation that qiamat is really coming. it's drawing closer and i feel anxious and yet, i'm complacent. it scares and yet intiruges (?) me at the same time. the future just seems to be like a huge block of greyness. like i have to look ahead but yeah, i'm scared. i mean the world is so old already. how long more will it take before entire countries get flooded as alaska melts. how many people will die and suffer. the future, it's not all glittery and gold. it's dark and disturbing and scary, more than anything.

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and a happy birthday to the babe who always makes me laugh, makes me feel less guilty for eating, makes me walk for mileeesssss to find a pair of shoes that she in the end didnt end up buying and who's going to spend the new year with me, in KL for a hopefully kick ass concert.

ps:please be at the train station by nine thirty k. the train is leaving at 10.15. i'm talking about the train station near bibik's house there, the ktm thingy i think. on saturday night k.
<3

135

WE GOT THE TICKETS
WE GOT THE TICKETS
WE GOT THE TICKETS
WE GOT THE TICKETS

now it's the matter of praying that my dad's ship doesnt come on that day and that my mom will get over her bitchy mood.

happy happy happy!!!

damn

(:

i watched scrubs the other day and there was this part where the surgeon intern pretended to be a priest and he managed to get the crowd to get on their feet and to sing, to praise jesus or god or whoever it was. and it got me thinking, if only islam could be like that. if only there was a way for the other muslim youths to feel god just as how the christian does. and i realised, that that's the difference between these two religion. there is no way we can ever be the same and it felt wrong, somehow to compare islam with christianity. *shrugs.
i was feeling like a hypocrite too, cause i have always been complaining about those that wear scarves, and than when they feel like it, take it off suka-suka. i mean, like wth right? if you wanna wear it, wear it. if not, than dont. anyway, i realised that i was just like them cause there was this one morning where the whole family decided it would be fun to go for a walk at six thirty in the bloody morning. being the lazy ass that i was, i figured no one would be around so no need for scarf,but we ended up walking to east coast and than having breakfast at macdonalds. bam,just smack me. only realised what i did on the way back from the walk.

anndddd, one more thing. i cant cant cant stand stupid insecure women who cry because their teeth are not straight or their nose is crooked. twisted mentality. you already have kids and a husband for god sake. i was so pissed off watching the show swan. basically, contestants go to have a make over so that they can go off feeling better about themselves. they just look deranged and scary and fake. so fake. and doesnt the husband feel weird? i mean, she's all plastic. grrrrr
why dont they just go for some expensive counselling session. pish-posh.

and oh yeah.spray paint.

 

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yesterday, i spent time with these lovely peopl! it was the end of test and we walked around ps and pargon and taka. zy was there too, but there were no nice pic of her (:




and look what mel and kaman got me!

sweeettt

when i got back, i had such a horrible fever and when i do get a fever, i tend to get recurring dreams but i cant really remember what i dreamt about. i had to pee so many times though! i think i got up like thrice during the night.

might might might be going to the peterpan concert after all! so nurul, start packling dah-ling! <3


and of course, who can forget this fine specimen of a man ((:


i have a weird aftertaste in my mouth.

picture!

i realise that i have a biggg nose and feet. haha. and i bought my formal shoes and i' m itching and mom bought me the cranberry bodybutter and the shower foam and I'M GOING TO SHANGHAI. HURRAH! (:


god knows whcih part of shanghai this is

two post in one day. oh god. i should really get going.

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i see that i have been downgraded (:
because i'm tired and i'm lazy and i'm bored.

totally random points
- the paper was fine
-havent studied for mmprint
-suppose to do the outline but i'm too lazy to take the paper
-there is something in my eye and it hurts
-narnia sucks, like really, i mean being knighted, by a LION
-skinny dreadlock guy with thin thin ankles
-SUBARU
-pride and prejudice tomorrow
-FREE OF TEST, HELLO HOLIDAY'S
-PETERPAN IN KL. PLEASE

and oh, i saw 47626 bestfriend at the malaysain checkpoint. like how small can the world be? tsk

everytime i look at my blog, i keep thinking that i should and change it. but each time i look at the codes, i give up. so be it.

129

i am so dead.
i promised her i will rent the patch adams vcd. but i havent had the time to do just that! screwed i tell you. heh
but, it's socio.
screw socio and all its components.

am suppose to be doing journalism but i just cant seem to find the need to write. and class starts at 8 tomorrow. just shoot me. but, on a brighter note, i bought this really nice dress that i wore for the majlis thing. Which didn't turn out to be so bad though.
sigh

ever since i got the digi, there are so many photos that i wanna upload but just cant be bothered to.

cheerios

128

oh yeah! i feel like superwoman ((:
nyahaha.

i'm almost done with my journals. Just left with one more which i should be done with by mon.
Going to take photos tomorrow which mean that i should be able to be done with that soon too!
all that's left is the case study for mmprint which is going to be a pain in the ass.

of, course, i should not be surprised with what has happened. i'm just there when you need me right? ass.

and, leaving you with this.
took it when i was on the way to chris's house.

<3

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<3

bbq at chris's place was super fun. i missed the class of 4/1. all that joking and laughing and teasing. many remained the same, many changed. though not all were there, i couldnt ask for a better bunch of people to spend my saturday with ((:

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i can't believe how tired i am.
i had to stay up to talk to make sure that he was ok
and i'm glad. but i hope he doesnt take it to mean that he owes me anything. but i have to say, i think this is the first time he has actually talked/confided in me.

breaking up is such a hard thing to do. and i dont know how to put it in words that everything is going to be ok, or that time will heal all wounds cause all those sound so cliche. but i guess no words can be truer than that. i just hope he heals (:

and i had such a nice, lovely,great,fantastic,awesome time yesterday! <333

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because, in times like this, friendship takes over the importance of sleep

i hope you'll be ok soon <333