so we got the tickets. the seats are not great but quite infront.
i just realised how lucky i am. i hope things dont start to fall apart anytime soon, insya-allah.
28.2.06
26.2.06
170
how can you be willing to let him go when he found such happiness when he was with you and never before. you taught him things, to loosen up, only to leave him stranded. you were his one shot at love and marriage and happily ever after but you shot his dreams down. selfishness. of not allowing him into your life, to suffer and to find great pleasure. either one, just so he could be there for you. and wont you do much better with him by your side. how can you go, knowing he'll be lost and afraid to move on. his one last chance, that was what you were. but you walked away, taking away from him dream and happiness and you'll stay, just as you were, suffering and facing the disease alone.
and how is it fair to both of you.
oh sweet november.
and how is it fair to both of you.
oh sweet november.
25.2.06
169
now i know why there was so much hype about ten things. has got to be one of the bestest show ever. and to drool over heath ledger of course ((:
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i swear the show the swan irritates me to no end. it is completely pointless and utterly ridiculous. instead of encouraging women to be confident and comfortable in their own skin, it is instead pushing them, driving home the message that only with plastic surgery do you have the confidence to do things that you havent thought of doing before. which i think is utter crap. so some may say that this actually boost their confidence but hell, there are other ways without having to resort through the painful measures of plastic surgery. and the pageant, which indeed is nonsensical. grrrr. it pisses me off to no end. and to hear the crap that the women are saying. damn. at least extreme make over wasnt so bad.
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i swear the show the swan irritates me to no end. it is completely pointless and utterly ridiculous. instead of encouraging women to be confident and comfortable in their own skin, it is instead pushing them, driving home the message that only with plastic surgery do you have the confidence to do things that you havent thought of doing before. which i think is utter crap. so some may say that this actually boost their confidence but hell, there are other ways without having to resort through the painful measures of plastic surgery. and the pageant, which indeed is nonsensical. grrrr. it pisses me off to no end. and to hear the crap that the women are saying. damn. at least extreme make over wasnt so bad.
23.2.06
168
and so we hang in there for a few more moments and very soon it will all be over.
time to rejoice and party and miss those that will be gone and cheer for those that are to come.
sitting at home sucks cause i have nothing to do and all i do is watch tv and tv is becoming a bore. i wish i can do something besides sit down and laze around. the book is good but not good enough. baking sucks cause all that i have baked came out wrong and ends up in the trash. grrrr. eclairs are not easy to make. so much for simplicity. be fooled. lalalalalala. see the randomness?
shanghai classes starts next week. now that's something. and i got a pretty ring set all around with red stones. and i saw pretty shoes. now that's the second times i saw shoes that i loved but can't have. baaahhh
and i dreamt of that sweet boy in sec school and how we went to a lotr movie that was rated nc 16 but turned out to be crap. it was so long since i had a dream like that. makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. and we saw this really nice shy possibly jap boy at parkway. he was working in one of the stores that sold rusty stuffs. he actually bowed to us! bowed! nyahahahaahaha. so nice and shy and sweet. we walked past the shop again but he was gone. but man, he made our day.
here's to fun times ahead. cheers.
time to rejoice and party and miss those that will be gone and cheer for those that are to come.
sitting at home sucks cause i have nothing to do and all i do is watch tv and tv is becoming a bore. i wish i can do something besides sit down and laze around. the book is good but not good enough. baking sucks cause all that i have baked came out wrong and ends up in the trash. grrrr. eclairs are not easy to make. so much for simplicity. be fooled. lalalalalala. see the randomness?
shanghai classes starts next week. now that's something. and i got a pretty ring set all around with red stones. and i saw pretty shoes. now that's the second times i saw shoes that i loved but can't have. baaahhh
and i dreamt of that sweet boy in sec school and how we went to a lotr movie that was rated nc 16 but turned out to be crap. it was so long since i had a dream like that. makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. and we saw this really nice shy possibly jap boy at parkway. he was working in one of the stores that sold rusty stuffs. he actually bowed to us! bowed! nyahahahaahaha. so nice and shy and sweet. we walked past the shop again but he was gone. but man, he made our day.
here's to fun times ahead. cheers.
18.2.06
167
ok so not many agreee to the idea but i've been toying around with it and i dont seem to mind. yeah, so it is a whole new beginning, something that can only happen in two years time but it's something to look forward too. living here for eighteen years is enough. it's time to move on and see what else other places can offer. it's a big risk but i may never know. the place where i might study in may not be recognised but it will be enough to find a stable job there. in a way, i've made up my mind already but who knows. things can change and maybe something else might come up. but for the time being, that's the plan. insya-allah.
17.2.06
16.2.06
165
all in good time darling, all in good time.
now who's to say that miracles dont happen.
i baked pudding today but it turned out, weird. it's all watery and all that. but it tastes quite..good though. very, strawberry.
lalalalalalalalalala
i wanna post pictures but i have to go get ready for dinner. holidays suck cause there is absoulutely nothing to do. and i cant play maple because something went wrong somewhere and i dont know what to do. i'm still learning to jump though. press c nad, c. or whatever the key was. okay ramblings and all in the in betweens.
you know, blogging just for the sake of blogging. and the dreams are coming back. meeting old and new faces and meeting up every other day.
i love times of sunshine but yet again, rainy days are perfect too.
see,
randomness.
now who's to say that miracles dont happen.
i baked pudding today but it turned out, weird. it's all watery and all that. but it tastes quite..good though. very, strawberry.
lalalalalalalalalala
i wanna post pictures but i have to go get ready for dinner. holidays suck cause there is absoulutely nothing to do. and i cant play maple because something went wrong somewhere and i dont know what to do. i'm still learning to jump though. press c nad, c. or whatever the key was. okay ramblings and all in the in betweens.
you know, blogging just for the sake of blogging. and the dreams are coming back. meeting old and new faces and meeting up every other day.
i love times of sunshine but yet again, rainy days are perfect too.
see,
randomness.
13.2.06
162
i got freaking robbed. can you imagine that? at kl. robbed. me. grrrrrrrrrr. the person took twenty dollars plus my ez link card from my back pocket. my back pocket! to think that i would have actually felt it or something. but nooooo. only realised it when i was on the lrt heding towards klcc. grrrr.
this time the trip was different, because i got robbed and also because it felt like there was nothing else to do. it wasnt like the previous times where we had to rush here and there. for the concert and all that jazz. we managed to cover everything but didnt shop much though. i'm contented that i got my trip.
now all i have to do is slack and wait for the shanghai trip to happen (:
AND I GOT ROBBED.
this time the trip was different, because i got robbed and also because it felt like there was nothing else to do. it wasnt like the previous times where we had to rush here and there. for the concert and all that jazz. we managed to cover everything but didnt shop much though. i'm contented that i got my trip.
now all i have to do is slack and wait for the shanghai trip to happen (:
AND I GOT ROBBED.
10.2.06
161
and i wonder what on earth can posses him to actuallly send a message. we are as different, but similar. maybe it's time something truly happy and magical happens to me (:
9.2.06
160
and you drag up old memories and you laugh and you cringe and than you wish you had never brought it out in the first place. it's getting to me when i know it shouldnt.
oh, the stupidity of it all.
memories
oh, the stupidity of it all.
memories
8.2.06
160
and maybe, just maybe
year one is ending in two more days, that's something to look forward too, or not. i'm going off to shanghai and the next few weeks will most probably be spent by doing, well, nothing.
after watching the video that ms ng showed during photog tut, i entertained the idea of actually going off to afghanistan to work with the guy, reza. i've been thinking why is it, that muslims countries are the ones that are being tested. being bombed, tortured and basically, not given the freedom to do things their way. after being controlled for so long, they were granted democracy. but how long can that last? you see them all so poor, living in houses that has been partially destroyed by war and kids begging in the streets. they say that all this is a test. that if you are patient and strong in faith, you will be rewarded equally later on. and i cant wait to see the day where we will rise again. i used to imagine what it will be like living in those days. and the cartoons of the prophet, it angers me but what can i do? but i sure hope that the guy that allowed the cartoons to be publish cant sleep at night. how can you? when you are, literally, that one person to cause all this commotion. just when we need to foster bonds again after the attacks, something like this comes along. maybe, this is the tanda-tanda already of akhir zaman. where not one person will remember god. so many movies have been made of how it will look like when the day comes, but they dont come close. no sir. not one bit. flying mountains, clouds dropping from the sky. it scares me but some part of me wants to see it happen.
i have to be grateful of what i have, of what i have been given. that maybe, just maybe, things will turn out all right in the end. and after each thought, i promise that i will be a better muslim, and i should.
year one is ending in two more days, that's something to look forward too, or not. i'm going off to shanghai and the next few weeks will most probably be spent by doing, well, nothing.
after watching the video that ms ng showed during photog tut, i entertained the idea of actually going off to afghanistan to work with the guy, reza. i've been thinking why is it, that muslims countries are the ones that are being tested. being bombed, tortured and basically, not given the freedom to do things their way. after being controlled for so long, they were granted democracy. but how long can that last? you see them all so poor, living in houses that has been partially destroyed by war and kids begging in the streets. they say that all this is a test. that if you are patient and strong in faith, you will be rewarded equally later on. and i cant wait to see the day where we will rise again. i used to imagine what it will be like living in those days. and the cartoons of the prophet, it angers me but what can i do? but i sure hope that the guy that allowed the cartoons to be publish cant sleep at night. how can you? when you are, literally, that one person to cause all this commotion. just when we need to foster bonds again after the attacks, something like this comes along. maybe, this is the tanda-tanda already of akhir zaman. where not one person will remember god. so many movies have been made of how it will look like when the day comes, but they dont come close. no sir. not one bit. flying mountains, clouds dropping from the sky. it scares me but some part of me wants to see it happen.
i have to be grateful of what i have, of what i have been given. that maybe, just maybe, things will turn out all right in the end. and after each thought, i promise that i will be a better muslim, and i should.
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