just to say,that it has been good. for now. for the past three years, or has it been even longer than that?
but it's time to move on.
to breathe, to change.
i'll email you loves when i've decided as to where to shift too
mobocracy has been good. but no longer.
jya
16.4.07
328
i feel like i am missing out on something incredibly important and that what ever i need to know about that one important is at the tip of my fingertips but i just can't seem to grasp it. at all. my heart's beating really strangely and i am looking forward to tomorrow, to see what sip will bring. i'm just beginning to feel scared shitless but i'm taking deep breaths and practising positive thinking. i just need to do something right now. and i totally want to cancel driving but i know that's not possible at all. and i just want tomorrow to come so that i can get it over and done with. oh god, help me through this. i hope your first day at work started just fine! insya-allah (:
15.4.07
327
god i can finally breathe because the week is finally over. and sip starts on tuesday and i seriously have no bag. i take comfort in the fact that hopefully, probably i wont really have to wear formal formal and that jeans are acceptable. i saw a gorgeous bag but it was like wow, expensive. yip left this morning and i still think that she's in singapore. you better like what we did for you yip! loves you loads too XD i hope she reached wherever it is in china she's suppose to be in safely (:
i feel like i neglected parts of my life that used to be so important and dear to me. now it feels like a duty that has to be carried out, and not something that i used to enjoy doing. what is the matter with me? i dont want them to think i'm taking them for granted but i feel like i'm growing more distant as the days passed by. it's not easy to be all happy and cheerful, again, i feel like a fake. and i have this mean streak in me that sometimes makes me think twice about what i say or do. i'm thankful, truly of where i am and i really dont want to take it for granted. i dont know, i dont know. i just feel tired of being positive for everyone, i feel like lashing out sometimes, but i know i'll feel guilty and will regret it afterwards. it's not worth it to lose something that important over a feeling that last for the maximum of two seconds.
maybe k8 will cheer me up and put me back into fangirling mood. i seem to detest the internet these days, i really dont know what to do with it. it seems like a waste of time.
wild hogs cheered me up no end. the entire theatre was just laughing and laughing at the bunch of middle aged men going through a mid life crisis. but seeing them on the bikes, on the open road, makes me long for that too.when i finally have my license and am able to drive to nowhere. just to go with the flow, wind in my hair, okay maybe tudong and great company. or music, it doesnt really matter.
and studying overseas will be a dream come true. awesome friends, new environment, completely no adult supervision XD i'll work towards that and all of you should too!
very soon a new chapter is yet to start, and the holidays are ending. i hope the next six months will be rewarding and that sip will end without any major disappointments, insya-allah (:
and just a recap, of what i did for this week for my own amusement
mon- chong's place
tues- chong's place, travelled one and a half hour to adam road to find out that they do not serve crabs
wed- spent another one hour plus on the bus to get to punggol to go to cousins house which is by far the most ulu place ever. i received a mail from STM-WELCOME for goodness sake.
thurs- was piano at one, driving at four, trip to library
fri- movie with lovelies. goodness takuya kimura was good in love and honour! one of the best period love dramas ever. dinner at swensens.
sat- work, $28 for four hours of giving out flyers. awesomeness. early lunch, KELVIN FOR THE WIN. XD midnight movie with family.
sun- yip left *must be positive, feels tired and then goes emo* NO LAH. YIP HAVE FUN K! to quote tjan ILUSM2U
god i'm beat, on another completely random note, this afternoon, after madrasah, at the bus stop, this boy that i usually take the bus with and have no idea at all as to who it is, made such an abrupt move to allow me to go up the bus first. it was completely out of the blue and so random! but it was nice of him to do so.
LUCK FOR SIP LOVES!
hamburger for the win too!
i feel like i neglected parts of my life that used to be so important and dear to me. now it feels like a duty that has to be carried out, and not something that i used to enjoy doing. what is the matter with me? i dont want them to think i'm taking them for granted but i feel like i'm growing more distant as the days passed by. it's not easy to be all happy and cheerful, again, i feel like a fake. and i have this mean streak in me that sometimes makes me think twice about what i say or do. i'm thankful, truly of where i am and i really dont want to take it for granted. i dont know, i dont know. i just feel tired of being positive for everyone, i feel like lashing out sometimes, but i know i'll feel guilty and will regret it afterwards. it's not worth it to lose something that important over a feeling that last for the maximum of two seconds.
maybe k8 will cheer me up and put me back into fangirling mood. i seem to detest the internet these days, i really dont know what to do with it. it seems like a waste of time.
wild hogs cheered me up no end. the entire theatre was just laughing and laughing at the bunch of middle aged men going through a mid life crisis. but seeing them on the bikes, on the open road, makes me long for that too.when i finally have my license and am able to drive to nowhere. just to go with the flow, wind in my hair, okay maybe tudong and great company. or music, it doesnt really matter.
and studying overseas will be a dream come true. awesome friends, new environment, completely no adult supervision XD i'll work towards that and all of you should too!
very soon a new chapter is yet to start, and the holidays are ending. i hope the next six months will be rewarding and that sip will end without any major disappointments, insya-allah (:
and just a recap, of what i did for this week for my own amusement
mon- chong's place
tues- chong's place, travelled one and a half hour to adam road to find out that they do not serve crabs
wed- spent another one hour plus on the bus to get to punggol to go to cousins house which is by far the most ulu place ever. i received a mail from STM-WELCOME for goodness sake.
thurs- was piano at one, driving at four, trip to library
fri- movie with lovelies. goodness takuya kimura was good in love and honour! one of the best period love dramas ever. dinner at swensens.
sat- work, $28 for four hours of giving out flyers. awesomeness. early lunch, KELVIN FOR THE WIN. XD midnight movie with family.
sun- yip left *must be positive, feels tired and then goes emo* NO LAH. YIP HAVE FUN K! to quote tjan ILUSM2U
god i'm beat, on another completely random note, this afternoon, after madrasah, at the bus stop, this boy that i usually take the bus with and have no idea at all as to who it is, made such an abrupt move to allow me to go up the bus first. it was completely out of the blue and so random! but it was nice of him to do so.
LUCK FOR SIP LOVES!
hamburger for the win too!
2.4.07
GRRROOOWWWLLLSSSSSSS
wham bham, thank you ma'am
so we're all pretending that nothing happened and i'm thinking WTF DID YOU PUT ME THROUGH ALL THOSE EMOTIONS FOR? ARE WE GOING TO COME TO A CONCLUSION? ARE WE GOING TO LET IT BE? WHAT WERE ALL THE TEARS AND FEARS FOR THEN? WHAT WHAT WHAT?! OH GOD I'M ANGSTY.
blame it on fucking pms.because i feel like a god damn fake and my earphones are spoilt, again
because a simple thank you or saying good job would have made me happy
*breathes*
wham bham, thank you ma'am
so we're all pretending that nothing happened and i'm thinking WTF DID YOU PUT ME THROUGH ALL THOSE EMOTIONS FOR? ARE WE GOING TO COME TO A CONCLUSION? ARE WE GOING TO LET IT BE? WHAT WERE ALL THE TEARS AND FEARS FOR THEN? WHAT WHAT WHAT?! OH GOD I'M ANGSTY.
blame it on fucking pms.because i feel like a god damn fake and my earphones are spoilt, again
because a simple thank you or saying good job would have made me happy
*breathes*
21.3.07
325
just to take a moment to breathe and to digest it all in.
you see, i know stuffs are going to happen soon enough and it did. she's looking at the bigger picture while i'm worrying on how we are going to survive day by day. but right now, we're just discussing, options, what can be done. nothing has been finalised, not until he's back. and that hopefully, god, that we will know the truth, and decide what to do next. because right now, to me, i've lost all sense of respect. i guess this is it. what he did was painful. to me, to her, all of us.
i realise that i've always been very dependent on others. time to stand on my own two feet and to see just what can be done. because, really, happiness does not last no? i see an old couple walking in the street hand in hand, her arms linked with his and i smile to myself and think, how lucky.
i guess we had our share of happiness, shit happens. but we'll survive, insya allah.
time to start pretending that everythings okay.
i dread him coming home next week
shhh, everyone has a secret.
you see, i know stuffs are going to happen soon enough and it did. she's looking at the bigger picture while i'm worrying on how we are going to survive day by day. but right now, we're just discussing, options, what can be done. nothing has been finalised, not until he's back. and that hopefully, god, that we will know the truth, and decide what to do next. because right now, to me, i've lost all sense of respect. i guess this is it. what he did was painful. to me, to her, all of us.
i realise that i've always been very dependent on others. time to stand on my own two feet and to see just what can be done. because, really, happiness does not last no? i see an old couple walking in the street hand in hand, her arms linked with his and i smile to myself and think, how lucky.
i guess we had our share of happiness, shit happens. but we'll survive, insya allah.
time to start pretending that everythings okay.
i dread him coming home next week
shhh, everyone has a secret.
20.3.07
324
i feel like writing a long meaningless entry, just full of rambles and confsuing sentences where no one, let alone myself will be able to understand. it's been ages since i wrote something meaningful, with depth and come to think of it, have i ever managed to reach that standard yet? anyone and everyone can be a journalist, she said but a part of me still wishes to think that yes, that is true, but only a handful can make it as one. i dont know if not working as a journalist for sph or mediacorp is a good thing or a bad thing. the most important thing is to go there with an open mind, and to tell myself that this is all for the experience. that i have to do good, to get a decent grade cause this work thing is going to take up six months of my third year. which is why i dont really feel that bad for being such a bumm. i figured i earned it, considering the stress that all of us went through a few months back. but sitting here, being idyll, reading fics, watching videos, i realise i kind of miss the busy-ness of it all. the panick of not being able to complete assignments in time, the late nights, the bitching and moaning and cursing and now, it's all over. very soon poly life will end, just when i thought i still have ages to go. it's scary, changes, but it's time to face challenges head on.
each time, before driving, i'll mutter a prayer, cause it helps to calm my nerves. i'm always nervous when i'm behind the wheel, but i'm feeling more comfortable with it now. it's strange to see people driving and think that omg, i can actually do that now. syukur. driving is very liberating.i feel, somewhat, independent. and it's addictive. i still have problems with turning the car though but i'm getting there. i really do want to pass on the first time round because i really want this. it's something that i've wanted. to be able to drive and i do hope i can achieve it. insya-allah. i think i'll be an ok driver XD (tjan, stop laughing <3)
the weather is humid, you know, the stickyness that you feel just before the rain starts. there's no movement at all, no wind, so everythings just stagnant and i feel sticky. but at the same time, it feels cool. but there's no wind, and that's slightly frustrating because i have no fan in my room. and i want that $2 umbrella from daiso at plaza sing. i dont know why, i just want it. it's adorable and i want it in yellow.
pucca the fish pretzel with chocolates in them. it's crunchy but it makes me feel slightly sick after eating them. i worry that my laptop will one day give up on me then i will have to find a replacement. that my nano will die on me too and these days, i'm entertaining thoughts of going jogging with just me and my nano. and you and i know that that is not ever going to happen. if only there was a private place to jog though, around here. i've been thinking of routes but there are just too many people. i miss opera. i miss the quietness of it all. no aunty and uncle kara-o-king, no screaming children, no incense smell, being able to walk outside barefooted. it's not so much the issue of space, cause the flat is quite roomy as it is, but it's just, i dont know. i'm attached to it. the leaking roof, the plastered walls, my purple couch. but i'm slowly thinking of here as home too, and i'm sure that if the time comes for us to move, i'll be missing this place too.
because for some reason, it feels comfortable living here. i dont feel awkward, i dont feel uneasy. it's peaceful. i feel safe, despite geylang being just a street away. but i could do without the mosquitoes though. freaking blood sucking monsters.
i wonder how it is that she is able to write so poetically, it's like, it comes naturally. i guess it depends on your personality, just how you view the world and sentences just appear like that because she is like that. because it's her, it's her own brand of writing. see, i admire it so much that sometimes i fear that i am trying to be like her, and that is not what i should be doing. i should be trying to find my own writing style, one that i'm comfortable with and one that reflects just who i am. it's quiet here.
so i've been struggling, to put pen to paper, to jot down random thoughts and ideas and hopefully, these will not be in vain. practice makes perfect no?
there are so many things that i want to do, but these are all in my head. i need to make an effort to actually realise them; to get my butt down in front of the piano and play my heart out, to design the ppt for madrasah, to write. i dont want to lose my ability to write. it's something that i've always held on to. i dont want to lose that, i hope i wont. and maybe, who knows, i'll start on jogging too
i'm 18 already, it's time to do something that i can be proud of.
each time, before driving, i'll mutter a prayer, cause it helps to calm my nerves. i'm always nervous when i'm behind the wheel, but i'm feeling more comfortable with it now. it's strange to see people driving and think that omg, i can actually do that now. syukur. driving is very liberating.i feel, somewhat, independent. and it's addictive. i still have problems with turning the car though but i'm getting there. i really do want to pass on the first time round because i really want this. it's something that i've wanted. to be able to drive and i do hope i can achieve it. insya-allah. i think i'll be an ok driver XD (tjan, stop laughing <3)
the weather is humid, you know, the stickyness that you feel just before the rain starts. there's no movement at all, no wind, so everythings just stagnant and i feel sticky. but at the same time, it feels cool. but there's no wind, and that's slightly frustrating because i have no fan in my room. and i want that $2 umbrella from daiso at plaza sing. i dont know why, i just want it. it's adorable and i want it in yellow.
pucca the fish pretzel with chocolates in them. it's crunchy but it makes me feel slightly sick after eating them. i worry that my laptop will one day give up on me then i will have to find a replacement. that my nano will die on me too and these days, i'm entertaining thoughts of going jogging with just me and my nano. and you and i know that that is not ever going to happen. if only there was a private place to jog though, around here. i've been thinking of routes but there are just too many people. i miss opera. i miss the quietness of it all. no aunty and uncle kara-o-king, no screaming children, no incense smell, being able to walk outside barefooted. it's not so much the issue of space, cause the flat is quite roomy as it is, but it's just, i dont know. i'm attached to it. the leaking roof, the plastered walls, my purple couch. but i'm slowly thinking of here as home too, and i'm sure that if the time comes for us to move, i'll be missing this place too.
because for some reason, it feels comfortable living here. i dont feel awkward, i dont feel uneasy. it's peaceful. i feel safe, despite geylang being just a street away. but i could do without the mosquitoes though. freaking blood sucking monsters.
i wonder how it is that she is able to write so poetically, it's like, it comes naturally. i guess it depends on your personality, just how you view the world and sentences just appear like that because she is like that. because it's her, it's her own brand of writing. see, i admire it so much that sometimes i fear that i am trying to be like her, and that is not what i should be doing. i should be trying to find my own writing style, one that i'm comfortable with and one that reflects just who i am. it's quiet here.
so i've been struggling, to put pen to paper, to jot down random thoughts and ideas and hopefully, these will not be in vain. practice makes perfect no?
there are so many things that i want to do, but these are all in my head. i need to make an effort to actually realise them; to get my butt down in front of the piano and play my heart out, to design the ppt for madrasah, to write. i dont want to lose my ability to write. it's something that i've always held on to. i dont want to lose that, i hope i wont. and maybe, who knows, i'll start on jogging too
i'm 18 already, it's time to do something that i can be proud of.
19.3.07
323
GAAAAHHH
okay, first up, results are okay. syukur, especially for radio and the gpa went down but i'm all okay. the past week has been madness. i think i went out everyday. mon was dinner with may and wanqi, tues was meeting yip and tjan, wed was out to catch a movie with arafah and sha decided not to come at the last minute, then thurs was with the cousin and we watched 300 which is utter awesomeness and i ate two fast food meals, which is not good, then fri was lunch with yip and then dinner and outing with my aunt and hannah and also, my dad flew off to indon. and then sat, thank god was stay at home day and ta-dah, it's a sunday and i slept the entire day and i wonder if i'll be able to sleep tonight.
monday is driving and so the cycle starts all over again. i'm feeling more confident about driving now, but it still scares me a bit. but i'm getting the hang of it.
AND I'M GETTING EMO OVER STUPID JYANNIS. no good, no good at all. and i'm pissed that the eng subs for the dvd is out though i'm not sure why! gah. it's great to hear news though, i just hope that the cd i ordered from cdjapan actually contributes to the freaking oricon charts! i just want my package to come. oh the shiny!
okay, first up, results are okay. syukur, especially for radio and the gpa went down but i'm all okay. the past week has been madness. i think i went out everyday. mon was dinner with may and wanqi, tues was meeting yip and tjan, wed was out to catch a movie with arafah and sha decided not to come at the last minute, then thurs was with the cousin and we watched 300 which is utter awesomeness and i ate two fast food meals, which is not good, then fri was lunch with yip and then dinner and outing with my aunt and hannah and also, my dad flew off to indon. and then sat, thank god was stay at home day and ta-dah, it's a sunday and i slept the entire day and i wonder if i'll be able to sleep tonight.
monday is driving and so the cycle starts all over again. i'm feeling more confident about driving now, but it still scares me a bit. but i'm getting the hang of it.
AND I'M GETTING EMO OVER STUPID JYANNIS. no good, no good at all. and i'm pissed that the eng subs for the dvd is out though i'm not sure why! gah. it's great to hear news though, i just hope that the cd i ordered from cdjapan actually contributes to the freaking oricon charts! i just want my package to come. oh the shiny!
14.3.07
322
you know what makes the world go round?
milk, milk makes the world go round.
not love.
drink more milk, yo *kon*
i'm anxious for the results, yet, am pretending not to care. i wish the sms will come already. end my fear. please, god. *growls*
i heart pride and prejudice to bits and pieces. i truly do.
*loves*
meeting up with old friends lagi best. it's the best feeling ever. you feel comfortable, you feel like you've known them for ages and you can laugh and say anything silly or/and stupid and they'll make fun of you but you know that they've always got your back. i heart my friends *cookies to all*
OI TJAN, *beams*
i use this ** too much.way too much.
milk, milk makes the world go round.
not love.
drink more milk, yo *kon*
i'm anxious for the results, yet, am pretending not to care. i wish the sms will come already. end my fear. please, god. *growls*
i heart pride and prejudice to bits and pieces. i truly do.
*loves*
meeting up with old friends lagi best. it's the best feeling ever. you feel comfortable, you feel like you've known them for ages and you can laugh and say anything silly or/and stupid and they'll make fun of you but you know that they've always got your back. i heart my friends *cookies to all*
OI TJAN, *beams*
i use this ** too much.way too much.
12.3.07
321
this is seriously bad, i think i'm an internet addict! and it is freaking me out. all day, i'm in front of the comp and i would be doing nothing except for reading fics, talking to gwynn or chatting over on msn. i'm leading such an unproductive life. but then of course,for the next six months, i'll be working my ass off so better take this opportunity no? dad doesnt understand what i'm doing in front of the laptop and keeps asking me to sleep, but i think he will more or less give up on it already.
holidays so far, so good, results in the next few days. fuck, i hope i'd do okay.
driving is seriously fun! and my instructor is quite cool too, despite him screaming at me before. but it was all good and i managed to drive and yes, no pedestrians/cats/lamp post/rubbish bin was knocked down. i was just making rounds though in the carpark and because i was always turning right, the moment he asked me to turn left, i panicked! and i got honked! by a lorry driver! stupid ass, can't you see i'm LEARNING! wah seh. but he made me go on to the road, but thank god i did not stall. test date is on the tenth of august and i hope hope hope i can at least get an off day or something *crosses fingers* and if i pass, i'll be driving before my 19th birthday! YAY! accomplishment, totally. insya-allah.
holidays so far, so good, results in the next few days. fuck, i hope i'd do okay.
driving is seriously fun! and my instructor is quite cool too, despite him screaming at me before. but it was all good and i managed to drive and yes, no pedestrians/cats/lamp post/rubbish bin was knocked down. i was just making rounds though in the carpark and because i was always turning right, the moment he asked me to turn left, i panicked! and i got honked! by a lorry driver! stupid ass, can't you see i'm LEARNING! wah seh. but he made me go on to the road, but thank god i did not stall. test date is on the tenth of august and i hope hope hope i can at least get an off day or something *crosses fingers* and if i pass, i'll be driving before my 19th birthday! YAY! accomplishment, totally. insya-allah.
8.3.07
320
i think tjan and chong will want to kill me right now. i honestly did not know that my home desktop had the trojan virus. went to plug in my disk drive into the desktop and then onto the lappie and then they plugged in their stuffs into the lappie and i think they got it too. truly sorry. gaaaah
i'm worried too, cause i hope they'll be able to get rid of the virus. ra just did a virus scan on my disk drive and deleted the file. so i hope it'll work fine for them too. technology hates me. truly.
but my laptop has been reformated now. so all's good and clean inside. thank god for ra who did most of it cause mr lim was on mc. *throws daggers* then the people at the cyber centre installed a virus scan for me also and he expects me to download some more, which i will do in a while. maybe tomorrow.
i'm worried too, cause i hope they'll be able to get rid of the virus. ra just did a virus scan on my disk drive and deleted the file. so i hope it'll work fine for them too. technology hates me. truly.
but my laptop has been reformated now. so all's good and clean inside. thank god for ra who did most of it cause mr lim was on mc. *throws daggers* then the people at the cyber centre installed a virus scan for me also and he expects me to download some more, which i will do in a while. maybe tomorrow.
5.3.07
319
i swear there is no other right time to kill myself then right now.
because, the story goes like this. i.e was killing me, it was shutting down just oh so often and it always always always occurs when i am in the middle of downloading something. which is why after six attempts, i have yet to manage finish downloading the sc subbed episodes which gwynn has been flailing about. there's toma! and news! and kattun! and k8! and omg, i'm such a fan girl. *kills*
so i went to download mozzilla, and feeling like a smart ass,tried to delete ie. but then ie's deleting process screwed up halfway. then, i realised that mozilla cannot at all, by no means, attempt to download files from CLUBBOX OR MEDIA FIRE. but it works fine for sensdspace. why must technology hate me? so i tried to reinstall ie but to no avail. at all. i tried a gazillion times, i tried to restore the computer. i restarted the computer for so many times that i swear it would just break down on me, but thank god it didnt. i heart my lappie. so now i am tempted to tinkle with ie just one last time but i know i shouldnt. i just hope that the amazing tech people in school will be able to do something about it. *prays*
if not, no CLUBBOX FOR ME AND I WILL DIE. SURELY DIE. because it means no more subbed files, no more gilmore, no more HYD no more JE. i have to rely on ss and that's not working half the time! so i hope! and i am so tempted to add in if there's a god out there because of course there is one! that the tech geeks will be able to fix this for me. lesson learnt. thou shall not, at any time, try to delete a microsoft component *head bangs*
on the other hand, CHONG ZHENG YING YOU SUPER POWER LAH! XD
that sleepy girl managed to entertain me for quite a while last night! i heart going out with her cause we end up making so much noise and then i'll be laughing like no body's business and half the time, i'll be screaming at her. she's also my fireworks buddy! yay! (:
and last night we had such an awesome spot! except for the couple in front who was trying to take pictures of themselves with the fireworks as a background *rolls eyes*
so we got there early, hanged around with randy who was working as an usher and listened to some groovy chinese music. the guy had such an amazing voice, if only he was taller or handsomer. then the fireworks began and as usual, fireworks are just awesome. i like the loud sounds the most. where each boom just makes your heart beat slightly faster and it leaves a ringing in your ears. awwweesooommmeeeee.
then the show ended and then we hanged around with randy some more while the band played a second set. it was a repeat set though. there was a guy who could beatbox and of course i thought of my red lego peace! XD
had zy take a picture of the beatboxer too! halfway he started singing "i'm bringing sexy back and then there was i'm a ssslllaaavveve for youuuu"
and then! there was this old apek who i swear looks just like mr pok who was dancing this weird para para dance moves! he was grrooovviiing! but it was like, stilted dance moves. he must have been paid by esplanade or the band to do that short dance! halfway he looked like a chicken dancing though.i applaud him though, for his courage!
then then then, we hanged around some more while waiting for randy to finish and then we caught bits of a world without thieves. it was slightly ridiculous though and halfway, andy lau's wig flew off! then it started to get all morally and it was a bit painful to sit on the pavement caused we watched the show when it was already showing halfway. (ok long sentence!)
we left because i didnt want to miss the last train back and bought a super expensive muffin but it was blueberry and it was warm but i could have just kicked that server! wah lau, luckily i'm nice. *growls*
and then! because the streets were almost empty, i made zy and randy play the
"cannot step on the dark parts of the pavement game" but zy gave up halfway because she's lousy. so after minutes of lunging and jumping, i had the brightest idea to run for the traffic light when people behind us were still strolling! and that girl actually beat me! lousy. oh wells. i cant believe i ran. haha! that was so stupid! but i had so much fun! and it was awesome to just let loose after so looonnnggg! i heart!
and then hopefully tomorrow, i have my ie and clubbox back and then we're going to watch letters! like after so long and mise restocked! and i have ryo's painting like yeesssss!!! and it.is.beautiful and the pv is out! and it is such lovvvvveeee!!
first driving lesson is on friday! at 11! i'm abit apprehensive but we'll see how it goes! yay!
and ta-da! painting! i'm obsessed with it. truly. <33
i swear i sound so high!
because, the story goes like this. i.e was killing me, it was shutting down just oh so often and it always always always occurs when i am in the middle of downloading something. which is why after six attempts, i have yet to manage finish downloading the sc subbed episodes which gwynn has been flailing about. there's toma! and news! and kattun! and k8! and omg, i'm such a fan girl. *kills*
so i went to download mozzilla, and feeling like a smart ass,tried to delete ie. but then ie's deleting process screwed up halfway. then, i realised that mozilla cannot at all, by no means, attempt to download files from CLUBBOX OR MEDIA FIRE. but it works fine for sensdspace. why must technology hate me? so i tried to reinstall ie but to no avail. at all. i tried a gazillion times, i tried to restore the computer. i restarted the computer for so many times that i swear it would just break down on me, but thank god it didnt. i heart my lappie. so now i am tempted to tinkle with ie just one last time but i know i shouldnt. i just hope that the amazing tech people in school will be able to do something about it. *prays*
if not, no CLUBBOX FOR ME AND I WILL DIE. SURELY DIE. because it means no more subbed files, no more gilmore, no more HYD no more JE. i have to rely on ss and that's not working half the time! so i hope! and i am so tempted to add in if there's a god out there because of course there is one! that the tech geeks will be able to fix this for me. lesson learnt. thou shall not, at any time, try to delete a microsoft component *head bangs*
on the other hand, CHONG ZHENG YING YOU SUPER POWER LAH! XD
that sleepy girl managed to entertain me for quite a while last night! i heart going out with her cause we end up making so much noise and then i'll be laughing like no body's business and half the time, i'll be screaming at her. she's also my fireworks buddy! yay! (:
and last night we had such an awesome spot! except for the couple in front who was trying to take pictures of themselves with the fireworks as a background *rolls eyes*
so we got there early, hanged around with randy who was working as an usher and listened to some groovy chinese music. the guy had such an amazing voice, if only he was taller or handsomer. then the fireworks began and as usual, fireworks are just awesome. i like the loud sounds the most. where each boom just makes your heart beat slightly faster and it leaves a ringing in your ears. awwweesooommmeeeee.
then the show ended and then we hanged around with randy some more while the band played a second set. it was a repeat set though. there was a guy who could beatbox and of course i thought of my red lego peace! XD
had zy take a picture of the beatboxer too! halfway he started singing "i'm bringing sexy back and then there was i'm a ssslllaaavveve for youuuu"
and then! there was this old apek who i swear looks just like mr pok who was dancing this weird para para dance moves! he was grrooovviiing! but it was like, stilted dance moves. he must have been paid by esplanade or the band to do that short dance! halfway he looked like a chicken dancing though.i applaud him though, for his courage!
then then then, we hanged around some more while waiting for randy to finish and then we caught bits of a world without thieves. it was slightly ridiculous though and halfway, andy lau's wig flew off! then it started to get all morally and it was a bit painful to sit on the pavement caused we watched the show when it was already showing halfway. (ok long sentence!)
we left because i didnt want to miss the last train back and bought a super expensive muffin but it was blueberry and it was warm but i could have just kicked that server! wah lau, luckily i'm nice. *growls*
and then! because the streets were almost empty, i made zy and randy play the
"cannot step on the dark parts of the pavement game" but zy gave up halfway because she's lousy. so after minutes of lunging and jumping, i had the brightest idea to run for the traffic light when people behind us were still strolling! and that girl actually beat me! lousy. oh wells. i cant believe i ran. haha! that was so stupid! but i had so much fun! and it was awesome to just let loose after so looonnnggg! i heart!
and then hopefully tomorrow, i have my ie and clubbox back and then we're going to watch letters! like after so long and mise restocked! and i have ryo's painting like yeesssss!!! and it.is.beautiful and the pv is out! and it is such lovvvvveeee!!
first driving lesson is on friday! at 11! i'm abit apprehensive but we'll see how it goes! yay!
and ta-da! painting! i'm obsessed with it. truly. <33
i swear i sound so high!
2.3.07
318
a new month begins yet again. it's march already. in february, i thought that 07 was going to be a bad year. there were way too many ups and downs and it was only the second month of the year. what will march bring for me? seeing as how it is the holidays, nothing too dramatic i hope.
my head hurts. i think it is about time i get some sleep. somethings wrong with my browser because it keeps shutting down by itself. prease dont do this to me.
i have to say that this has been bothering me for quite a while. the thing is that, i cant completely immerse myself in just one world and forget the other. the key is to find a balance, a right balance that will prove condusive for me, that will work for me so that i am firmly in check with reality. that i dont get too caught up. cause when you get too caught up, then you tend to forget the very basic fundamentals. the very core of what it is that is you, what it is that you first wanted to achieve.
i mean, change is all good, but do not expect others to change too. each one is entitled to their own opinion, you cannot force yours down their throats.
it's not fair. you have to listen and to hear what the other party is talking about. you have to know when you've overstepped the boundary and you have to know when you need to back down and respect that person and if need be, to say sorry. get what i mean?
we are only here for a short period of time. ultimately, it is what you have done here that will protect you and save you later on. i have to remember that.
but if you forget the basic fundamentals, then what is the point?
my head hurts. i think it is about time i get some sleep. somethings wrong with my browser because it keeps shutting down by itself. prease dont do this to me.
i have to say that this has been bothering me for quite a while. the thing is that, i cant completely immerse myself in just one world and forget the other. the key is to find a balance, a right balance that will prove condusive for me, that will work for me so that i am firmly in check with reality. that i dont get too caught up. cause when you get too caught up, then you tend to forget the very basic fundamentals. the very core of what it is that is you, what it is that you first wanted to achieve.
i mean, change is all good, but do not expect others to change too. each one is entitled to their own opinion, you cannot force yours down their throats.
it's not fair. you have to listen and to hear what the other party is talking about. you have to know when you've overstepped the boundary and you have to know when you need to back down and respect that person and if need be, to say sorry. get what i mean?
we are only here for a short period of time. ultimately, it is what you have done here that will protect you and save you later on. i have to remember that.
but if you forget the basic fundamentals, then what is the point?
25.2.07
317
i feel like i am this close to murdering someone. THII IS SERIOUSLY DRIVING ME CRAZY
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
22.2.07
316
because sometimes, things do work out in the end.
thanks ra, much love <33
isnt it strange, i was all prepared for the worst, talked to arafah and felt calmer, felt ready to face whatever it is that will happen next and then the next thing i know, things are all ok. but i can't help but feel that something else will happen soon enough. i'm glad that things are ok, but i find it strangely, anti-climaxing.
i should be shot for saying that.
as it is, i just finished reading a super nice akame fic, though it is super long. i should start on my writing samples too. and studying for ccc. fucking useless topic.
*crosses-fingers for interview tomorrow*
thanks ra, much love <33
isnt it strange, i was all prepared for the worst, talked to arafah and felt calmer, felt ready to face whatever it is that will happen next and then the next thing i know, things are all ok. but i can't help but feel that something else will happen soon enough. i'm glad that things are ok, but i find it strangely, anti-climaxing.
i should be shot for saying that.
as it is, i just finished reading a super nice akame fic, though it is super long. i should start on my writing samples too. and studying for ccc. fucking useless topic.
*crosses-fingers for interview tomorrow*
21.2.07
315
i know, i know, i should be studying for ccc. buuuuttttt
i really dont feel like it.
maybe i shall read through the notes. yeah. that's something (:
i dreamt that me, tjan, yip and tiffany from sec school were learning the dance from arahshi's kitto daijobu. *faints*
i really dont feel like it.
maybe i shall read through the notes. yeah. that's something (:
i dreamt that me, tjan, yip and tiffany from sec school were learning the dance from arahshi's kitto daijobu. *faints*
20.2.07
18.2.07
313
surfing around makes me feel like a complete bum. then i come across an eljay with beautifully taken shots and i feel like an utter failure and wished i had half thier talent. then wishing i had a camera and that i could go on a photo spree. but of course, this thoughts rarely last that long. but they come and go as they please. i have to stop and remind myself to stop wanting to be them, that i have to be myself, to feel happy with the way i am, and that there's always always room for improvement. that it's no use fealing envious(because jealous is just too ugly a word) and that i have other hidden talents, or so i like to think. deep breaths and then attempts at actually doing something. the grade is still haunting me.
i'm getting used to the house. it's been a week already but stuffs are still in boxes. it's hard to do things when i have no idea where to put my belongings. what to do. i hate the fact that happily ever after might not acutally exist and i'm scared to death. who on earth likes to be told to "expect the worse" just remember that you are not the only one, that you have two children to speak off.
i hate this. i hate this. i just like the illusion that we might be a perfect little family, though the bitterness inside, not many will know about. i want to share but i guess, for the time being, this piece of news will be locked up and hidden away. in the meantime, i'll prepare for the worse.
i secretly though, will hope that things will work out in the end. as the always do.
insya-allah.
i'm getting used to the house. it's been a week already but stuffs are still in boxes. it's hard to do things when i have no idea where to put my belongings. what to do. i hate the fact that happily ever after might not acutally exist and i'm scared to death. who on earth likes to be told to "expect the worse" just remember that you are not the only one, that you have two children to speak off.
i hate this. i hate this. i just like the illusion that we might be a perfect little family, though the bitterness inside, not many will know about. i want to share but i guess, for the time being, this piece of news will be locked up and hidden away. in the meantime, i'll prepare for the worse.
i secretly though, will hope that things will work out in the end. as the always do.
insya-allah.
16.2.07
312
i have to say that the sem ended in a very bitter bitter note. it's still hard for me to come to terms that i actually failed an assignemnt. failed. big time. F. and he dared say i failed by a few marks. like fuck, just give me a d or something, not a fucking f. terribly upset but of course the greatest group of friends tt i can possibly have cheered me up. sorry though if i screamed and emoed for awhile. it's just so hard to believe. like wtf, F. never before in my poly life did i think i would actually fail something. i mean yeah sure, you say it, you ponder it and you wonder if you would actually fail but you do not expect to actually fail. my grades this sem are all over the place. i mean even for broadcast, i was terribly upset about it. twice this week i ranted and raved over school work. it's sad cause no matter how hard i tried, i just can't seem to do well enough. and the added pressure to make it to a local u is not helping much. i'm just afraid for mep right now. i don't want to fail anymore. i feel like such a loser, seriously. but deep breaths, trying to see the lighter side of things. i still do pass overall, but though with not such good grades. i still have other things to worry about, but until then, sigh. this grade is going to haunt me forever. F. fuck it.
dinner tonight at popeye's was a treat! it's great to know that they're always there. XD loves and kisses. i know you love me! <333
i still want to know where it is in the damn airport that i can actually see the runway. i love planes. i love the feeling they give me. i like the fact that this heavy piece of metal is able to fly so high. but i'm always grateful each time the plane lands. it's like, thank god, flat ground. i'm truly trying to make myself feel better, but it's so hard. thank god i dont have to take radio. else this would just have broken my heart. this is the last for radio as it is. just have to work harder for year three then. no regrets. truly. i dont want to regret. as it is, i'll just enjoy my holiday before the craziness that is sip begins.
dinner tonight at popeye's was a treat! it's great to know that they're always there. XD loves and kisses. i know you love me! <333
i still want to know where it is in the damn airport that i can actually see the runway. i love planes. i love the feeling they give me. i like the fact that this heavy piece of metal is able to fly so high. but i'm always grateful each time the plane lands. it's like, thank god, flat ground. i'm truly trying to make myself feel better, but it's so hard. thank god i dont have to take radio. else this would just have broken my heart. this is the last for radio as it is. just have to work harder for year three then. no regrets. truly. i dont want to regret. as it is, i'll just enjoy my holiday before the craziness that is sip begins.
5.2.07
311
and i can't ask for more. much love. the house is as important to me as it is to the both of you. (i think XD) countless memories and events, birthday celebrations and sleep overs. baking cookies, lighting candles and most importantly, hanging out.
my life is ruled by boxes. what was once a room is now nothing but an empty space. shelves are cleared, candles are packed, books are stuffed into boxes. ten years of my life squeezed into one big box, four plastic casing and bits and pieces all over.
it's only for a year. insya allah.
i'll miss this house, definitely, cause my dad literally rebuilt it by himself.it might be peeling and dying and cracking but it still is a sturdy roof over my head. i feel safe here. this house has been through so much, has seen us grow, oh, if only the walls could speak, imagine the stories it would tell. i hope things will still remain as it is when i get back here after a year. to think that by next week, new tenants will be calling this house their home. there's just way too many things to pack into boxes. but it's ok, here's to another adventure ahead. (:
3.2.07
310
because because because, this week has been awesome, alhamdulilah. truly truly. <3
passed final on the first try, which is like a miracle considering i only studied like an hour before the paper, sat for so long trying to figure out the right answers. so now i am able to drive drive drive! can't wait for that, though i fear for the people on the streets and the other drivers.
our filming editing was like, fast. just laid down the music and things just sort of placed themselves accordingly. was slightly freaky and i secretly think that the music makes it sound like a suicide commercial.
watched babel which is not like what i expected it to be. a whole load of stereotype and beautiful scenery shots. i still think the japanese part should have been taken out and it could have concentrated more on cate blanchett and brad pitt.
i think that cate blanchett is awesome. i like her icy cool demeneaour and her mindset. she's different, she's very pretty in an icy blonde way and i heart her. i'm going to watch all the movies that she did. or at least try to.
wed was sph test day. horrid horrid horrid. how to write 500 words, edit a paper and summarise an article and do a close passage in the span of two and a half hours? crazy. and we had to bring our own pen some more. cheapskate. i can so cross straits times off my list now.
when i make loads of money by being a journalist, i'm going to buy myself a house and live like they did in the sixties.
ccc day. tried valiantly to start ccc. got as far as writing down headlines. which is a start. never have i ever felt more proud of tjan also. <3
it's also the day where i felt the most broke. i felt so poor, but when i reached home, i heard great news. got the loan from dad to start my driving license to!
i so have to give him like a months pay. i hope that's all that i would have to spend on driving.
had dinner with lovelies. enjoyed the time spent. the food was yummy delicious. i treasure moments like these. i so can't wait for next week and the week after next!
and the most important bit of this week was actually doing well for radio.
am totally proud of my radio group. though there were screw ups, as always, we managed it didnt we! *dances around*
i'm moving out asap. tenants will be here by the tenth, which is next week. will be mad packing till then. i'm going to miss this place, truly, no doubt about it. ten years of my life, but it's time to move on.
i'll get used to it. in the mean time, just have to bear with the slight inconvenience. at least the holidays are coming soon.
two weeks more! XD
passed final on the first try, which is like a miracle considering i only studied like an hour before the paper, sat for so long trying to figure out the right answers. so now i am able to drive drive drive! can't wait for that, though i fear for the people on the streets and the other drivers.
our filming editing was like, fast. just laid down the music and things just sort of placed themselves accordingly. was slightly freaky and i secretly think that the music makes it sound like a suicide commercial.
watched babel which is not like what i expected it to be. a whole load of stereotype and beautiful scenery shots. i still think the japanese part should have been taken out and it could have concentrated more on cate blanchett and brad pitt.
i think that cate blanchett is awesome. i like her icy cool demeneaour and her mindset. she's different, she's very pretty in an icy blonde way and i heart her. i'm going to watch all the movies that she did. or at least try to.
wed was sph test day. horrid horrid horrid. how to write 500 words, edit a paper and summarise an article and do a close passage in the span of two and a half hours? crazy. and we had to bring our own pen some more. cheapskate. i can so cross straits times off my list now.
when i make loads of money by being a journalist, i'm going to buy myself a house and live like they did in the sixties.
ccc day. tried valiantly to start ccc. got as far as writing down headlines. which is a start. never have i ever felt more proud of tjan also. <3
it's also the day where i felt the most broke. i felt so poor, but when i reached home, i heard great news. got the loan from dad to start my driving license to!
i so have to give him like a months pay. i hope that's all that i would have to spend on driving.
had dinner with lovelies. enjoyed the time spent. the food was yummy delicious. i treasure moments like these. i so can't wait for next week and the week after next!
and the most important bit of this week was actually doing well for radio.
am totally proud of my radio group. though there were screw ups, as always, we managed it didnt we! *dances around*
i'm moving out asap. tenants will be here by the tenth, which is next week. will be mad packing till then. i'm going to miss this place, truly, no doubt about it. ten years of my life, but it's time to move on.
i'll get used to it. in the mean time, just have to bear with the slight inconvenience. at least the holidays are coming soon.
two weeks more! XD
27.1.07
309
finally the week is over. i cannot believe all of us survived through three deadlines in a single week. never before have i rushed out so much work. 2 thousand words in one day, a stupid 30 second video plus 2 thirty seconds radio commercial and a 4 minute long radio feature. feels proud.
not to mention that i survived a death of a close teacher too and a test from mediacorp.
but i am somewhat doubtful over my video. i hate the fact that though you spent like a whole week or 12 hours straight on it, it looks like something which you can churn out in like 2 freaking hours. and seeing the videos of others just makes you even more depressed. and it does not help that it's like thirty percent of the course grade too. just like how the i.a for broadcast is like 50 percent worth. have i mentioned that i'm scared shitless. i'm so afraid. seriously. i dont want to flunk, i dont want to repeat. i want to get a decent grade and leave.
seriously, this past week has been a test on my patience and tolerance level and also, how much stress i can handle. based on this week, ihave to say i handled it pretty well. but it finally crashed on friday.
please do not expect me to juggle so many things. there's only so much crap i can handle. i've been home by ten this past few days and i have no time for the house, let alone myself. holding me responsible is not fair and i resent that. i totally dont dig the fact that you can just blame me for things that i am only partially responsible for. does it make you feel good to make me feel like the saddest person on earth?
i took out my anger on mom and immediately felt silly. but i cant help it. i resent the fact that i am the punching bag for everything. just fuck it all, seriously.
sometimes i dont know why i even bother.
i need a pick me up but i dont know what will work. i'm not sure right now. i'm just glad it's over and then reviewing what is to come next week and the week after next and so on. there's only three weeks left of school.
there's a limit to what i can handle and laugh off. when it comes to a point where enough is enough, dont expect me to laugh it off anymore. please do understand when i say i dont like it. i mean it. i dont mind it most of time, but seriously, try not to take it for granted. sometimes jokes can get a little old.
i just feel, frustrated i guess. i want to go away and disappear.
and i'm tired too of being the rock for everyone else. whose going to be mine? i dont know where else to draw strength from. suddenly i feel so tired.
but i'm sure things will get better, insya-allah. it helps that i've got a religion to turn too and a wacky group of friends. though it's not that big a group, i'm glad for them. for making this week slightly more bearable. XD
not to mention that i survived a death of a close teacher too and a test from mediacorp.
but i am somewhat doubtful over my video. i hate the fact that though you spent like a whole week or 12 hours straight on it, it looks like something which you can churn out in like 2 freaking hours. and seeing the videos of others just makes you even more depressed. and it does not help that it's like thirty percent of the course grade too. just like how the i.a for broadcast is like 50 percent worth. have i mentioned that i'm scared shitless. i'm so afraid. seriously. i dont want to flunk, i dont want to repeat. i want to get a decent grade and leave.
seriously, this past week has been a test on my patience and tolerance level and also, how much stress i can handle. based on this week, ihave to say i handled it pretty well. but it finally crashed on friday.
please do not expect me to juggle so many things. there's only so much crap i can handle. i've been home by ten this past few days and i have no time for the house, let alone myself. holding me responsible is not fair and i resent that. i totally dont dig the fact that you can just blame me for things that i am only partially responsible for. does it make you feel good to make me feel like the saddest person on earth?
i took out my anger on mom and immediately felt silly. but i cant help it. i resent the fact that i am the punching bag for everything. just fuck it all, seriously.
sometimes i dont know why i even bother.
i need a pick me up but i dont know what will work. i'm not sure right now. i'm just glad it's over and then reviewing what is to come next week and the week after next and so on. there's only three weeks left of school.
there's a limit to what i can handle and laugh off. when it comes to a point where enough is enough, dont expect me to laugh it off anymore. please do understand when i say i dont like it. i mean it. i dont mind it most of time, but seriously, try not to take it for granted. sometimes jokes can get a little old.
i just feel, frustrated i guess. i want to go away and disappear.
and i'm tired too of being the rock for everyone else. whose going to be mine? i dont know where else to draw strength from. suddenly i feel so tired.
but i'm sure things will get better, insya-allah. it helps that i've got a religion to turn too and a wacky group of friends. though it's not that big a group, i'm glad for them. for making this week slightly more bearable. XD
15.1.07
307
and so my dad bought me a ds lite, which is so much love XD but i do feel slightly guilty cause well, i don't need it. but i have it all the same so all's good. am addicted to playing mario but tjan (who now has a new best friend) said there's an even nicer version of it. oh well, i just bought what was in store in mustaffa.
i havent laughed so much in ages today and i learnt how to fold a paper crane, at least, the second half of it. origami was never my thing, though i once bought a box set of it. i realised how truly lucky i am and am very very thankful. syukur alhamdullilah. but it's times like this where i wonder if i ever come across an obstacle, it would be a truly challenging one. like my mom said, she has never known what it is like to struggle just to make ends meet and she wonders if instead of her, her children instead would suffer. that's what i wonder too. cause you can't permanently live on cloud nine. that's the scary part. so the best bet is to not take everything for granted, always always be thankful and remember that what you have is not technically yours.
i havent laughed so much in ages today and i learnt how to fold a paper crane, at least, the second half of it. origami was never my thing, though i once bought a box set of it. i realised how truly lucky i am and am very very thankful. syukur alhamdullilah. but it's times like this where i wonder if i ever come across an obstacle, it would be a truly challenging one. like my mom said, she has never known what it is like to struggle just to make ends meet and she wonders if instead of her, her children instead would suffer. that's what i wonder too. cause you can't permanently live on cloud nine. that's the scary part. so the best bet is to not take everything for granted, always always be thankful and remember that what you have is not technically yours.
4.1.07
306
i am feeling slightly irritated these days. i dont know why. i'm happy and then sad and then happy again. it's been such a roller coaster ride, especially yesterday. receiving two c's in a day does not make nad a happy girl. but i've to remember to breathe, try not to panick, ok maybe for a little while and then move on. no point dwelling you know. so who said broadcast was going to be easy? MUST. WORK. HARDER.
sem two second term is going to kill me. what with us confirm chop no joke going to be packing and moving, i have no idea how to cope. i'm trying not to imagine the stress and take each day as it is. i keep hoping that dad will say that ok, not shifting, but boxes are appearing in the house. where will my fishes go?! i've lived here for ten years. it's not a matter of friends, it's a matter of familiarity. the house has seen a lot, been through a lot. it might be peeling, leaking, dying, crumbling but IT'S MY HOUSE. i live here. my dad practically rebuilt it. i dont want some stranger living in my room with the red walls. i'm decidedly upset over this. I DONT WANT TO MOVE. i dont know why it has to be our problem. why we have to sacrifice but mom just has to be the voice of reason. i seriously cant see the bright side of this. what if dad does not want to come back here anymore?
i dont know if i'll have space to breathe in the new, well not new, house. it's old. it has green floors. you know floors that you see in the sixties. i need my own space. i have to walk through stalls selling durians to get to the place. it's inaccessible. it's not fair.
I REALLY DONT WANT TO MOVE. i'm getting upset over it now again. fuck it.
i'm being emo so leave me alone.
aaaaarrrrgggggghhhhhhhh. cant be emo, cant be emo, cant be emo. MUST. BE. POSITVIE.
(and that applies to you too, ms chong zheng ying)
i just want to grumble. and mumble. ok. get over it already. sigh.
still dont want to move.
sem two second term is going to kill me. what with us confirm chop no joke going to be packing and moving, i have no idea how to cope. i'm trying not to imagine the stress and take each day as it is. i keep hoping that dad will say that ok, not shifting, but boxes are appearing in the house. where will my fishes go?! i've lived here for ten years. it's not a matter of friends, it's a matter of familiarity. the house has seen a lot, been through a lot. it might be peeling, leaking, dying, crumbling but IT'S MY HOUSE. i live here. my dad practically rebuilt it. i dont want some stranger living in my room with the red walls. i'm decidedly upset over this. I DONT WANT TO MOVE. i dont know why it has to be our problem. why we have to sacrifice but mom just has to be the voice of reason. i seriously cant see the bright side of this. what if dad does not want to come back here anymore?
i dont know if i'll have space to breathe in the new, well not new, house. it's old. it has green floors. you know floors that you see in the sixties. i need my own space. i have to walk through stalls selling durians to get to the place. it's inaccessible. it's not fair.
I REALLY DONT WANT TO MOVE. i'm getting upset over it now again. fuck it.
i'm being emo so leave me alone.
aaaaarrrrgggggghhhhhhhh. cant be emo, cant be emo, cant be emo. MUST. BE. POSITVIE.
(and that applies to you too, ms chong zheng ying)
i just want to grumble. and mumble. ok. get over it already. sigh.
still dont want to move.
1.1.07
305
ok so it's the new year. i wanted to post something meanigful but my brain is totally fried. internet connection is not working i hope they fix the cables soon.
school is starting soon. sigh.
the madness is about to begin.
resolution? pfffft what resolutions? i just hope 07 would be a good year too.
seriously, it doesnt feel like a new year. it just feels,as per normal. nothing significant at all. so it's a new year. doesnt feel like a brand new start to me
*shrugs*
school is starting soon. sigh.
the madness is about to begin.
resolution? pfffft what resolutions? i just hope 07 would be a good year too.
seriously, it doesnt feel like a new year. it just feels,as per normal. nothing significant at all. so it's a new year. doesnt feel like a brand new start to me
*shrugs*
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