16.4.07
328
i feel like i am missing out on something incredibly important and that what ever i need to know about that one important is at the tip of my fingertips but i just can't seem to grasp it. at all. my heart's beating really strangely and i am looking forward to tomorrow, to see what sip will bring. i'm just beginning to feel scared shitless but i'm taking deep breaths and practising positive thinking. i just need to do something right now. and i totally want to cancel driving but i know that's not possible at all. and i just want tomorrow to come so that i can get it over and done with. oh god, help me through this. i hope your first day at work started just fine! insya-allah (:
15.4.07
327
god i can finally breathe because the week is finally over. and sip starts on tuesday and i seriously have no bag. i take comfort in the fact that hopefully, probably i wont really have to wear formal formal and that jeans are acceptable. i saw a gorgeous bag but it was like wow, expensive. yip left this morning and i still think that she's in singapore. you better like what we did for you yip! loves you loads too XD i hope she reached wherever it is in china she's suppose to be in safely (:
i feel like i neglected parts of my life that used to be so important and dear to me. now it feels like a duty that has to be carried out, and not something that i used to enjoy doing. what is the matter with me? i dont want them to think i'm taking them for granted but i feel like i'm growing more distant as the days passed by. it's not easy to be all happy and cheerful, again, i feel like a fake. and i have this mean streak in me that sometimes makes me think twice about what i say or do. i'm thankful, truly of where i am and i really dont want to take it for granted. i dont know, i dont know. i just feel tired of being positive for everyone, i feel like lashing out sometimes, but i know i'll feel guilty and will regret it afterwards. it's not worth it to lose something that important over a feeling that last for the maximum of two seconds.
maybe k8 will cheer me up and put me back into fangirling mood. i seem to detest the internet these days, i really dont know what to do with it. it seems like a waste of time.
wild hogs cheered me up no end. the entire theatre was just laughing and laughing at the bunch of middle aged men going through a mid life crisis. but seeing them on the bikes, on the open road, makes me long for that too.when i finally have my license and am able to drive to nowhere. just to go with the flow, wind in my hair, okay maybe tudong and great company. or music, it doesnt really matter.
and studying overseas will be a dream come true. awesome friends, new environment, completely no adult supervision XD i'll work towards that and all of you should too!
very soon a new chapter is yet to start, and the holidays are ending. i hope the next six months will be rewarding and that sip will end without any major disappointments, insya-allah (:
and just a recap, of what i did for this week for my own amusement
mon- chong's place
tues- chong's place, travelled one and a half hour to adam road to find out that they do not serve crabs
wed- spent another one hour plus on the bus to get to punggol to go to cousins house which is by far the most ulu place ever. i received a mail from STM-WELCOME for goodness sake.
thurs- was piano at one, driving at four, trip to library
fri- movie with lovelies. goodness takuya kimura was good in love and honour! one of the best period love dramas ever. dinner at swensens.
sat- work, $28 for four hours of giving out flyers. awesomeness. early lunch, KELVIN FOR THE WIN. XD midnight movie with family.
sun- yip left *must be positive, feels tired and then goes emo* NO LAH. YIP HAVE FUN K! to quote tjan ILUSM2U
god i'm beat, on another completely random note, this afternoon, after madrasah, at the bus stop, this boy that i usually take the bus with and have no idea at all as to who it is, made such an abrupt move to allow me to go up the bus first. it was completely out of the blue and so random! but it was nice of him to do so.
LUCK FOR SIP LOVES!
hamburger for the win too!
i feel like i neglected parts of my life that used to be so important and dear to me. now it feels like a duty that has to be carried out, and not something that i used to enjoy doing. what is the matter with me? i dont want them to think i'm taking them for granted but i feel like i'm growing more distant as the days passed by. it's not easy to be all happy and cheerful, again, i feel like a fake. and i have this mean streak in me that sometimes makes me think twice about what i say or do. i'm thankful, truly of where i am and i really dont want to take it for granted. i dont know, i dont know. i just feel tired of being positive for everyone, i feel like lashing out sometimes, but i know i'll feel guilty and will regret it afterwards. it's not worth it to lose something that important over a feeling that last for the maximum of two seconds.
maybe k8 will cheer me up and put me back into fangirling mood. i seem to detest the internet these days, i really dont know what to do with it. it seems like a waste of time.
wild hogs cheered me up no end. the entire theatre was just laughing and laughing at the bunch of middle aged men going through a mid life crisis. but seeing them on the bikes, on the open road, makes me long for that too.when i finally have my license and am able to drive to nowhere. just to go with the flow, wind in my hair, okay maybe tudong and great company. or music, it doesnt really matter.
and studying overseas will be a dream come true. awesome friends, new environment, completely no adult supervision XD i'll work towards that and all of you should too!
very soon a new chapter is yet to start, and the holidays are ending. i hope the next six months will be rewarding and that sip will end without any major disappointments, insya-allah (:
and just a recap, of what i did for this week for my own amusement
mon- chong's place
tues- chong's place, travelled one and a half hour to adam road to find out that they do not serve crabs
wed- spent another one hour plus on the bus to get to punggol to go to cousins house which is by far the most ulu place ever. i received a mail from STM-WELCOME for goodness sake.
thurs- was piano at one, driving at four, trip to library
fri- movie with lovelies. goodness takuya kimura was good in love and honour! one of the best period love dramas ever. dinner at swensens.
sat- work, $28 for four hours of giving out flyers. awesomeness. early lunch, KELVIN FOR THE WIN. XD midnight movie with family.
sun- yip left *must be positive, feels tired and then goes emo* NO LAH. YIP HAVE FUN K! to quote tjan ILUSM2U
god i'm beat, on another completely random note, this afternoon, after madrasah, at the bus stop, this boy that i usually take the bus with and have no idea at all as to who it is, made such an abrupt move to allow me to go up the bus first. it was completely out of the blue and so random! but it was nice of him to do so.
LUCK FOR SIP LOVES!
hamburger for the win too!
2.4.07
GRRROOOWWWLLLSSSSSSS
wham bham, thank you ma'am
so we're all pretending that nothing happened and i'm thinking WTF DID YOU PUT ME THROUGH ALL THOSE EMOTIONS FOR? ARE WE GOING TO COME TO A CONCLUSION? ARE WE GOING TO LET IT BE? WHAT WERE ALL THE TEARS AND FEARS FOR THEN? WHAT WHAT WHAT?! OH GOD I'M ANGSTY.
blame it on fucking pms.because i feel like a god damn fake and my earphones are spoilt, again
because a simple thank you or saying good job would have made me happy
*breathes*
wham bham, thank you ma'am
so we're all pretending that nothing happened and i'm thinking WTF DID YOU PUT ME THROUGH ALL THOSE EMOTIONS FOR? ARE WE GOING TO COME TO A CONCLUSION? ARE WE GOING TO LET IT BE? WHAT WERE ALL THE TEARS AND FEARS FOR THEN? WHAT WHAT WHAT?! OH GOD I'M ANGSTY.
blame it on fucking pms.because i feel like a god damn fake and my earphones are spoilt, again
because a simple thank you or saying good job would have made me happy
*breathes*
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